No, I didn’t say that wrong, I said what I meant. Isn’t it strange when life seems like nothing is going right and your whole world feels like it is crumbling that the world seems to cast the most beautiful glow on everything that surrounds you. I feel as if I am at my breaking point today with what life keeps throwing my way and yet I stand here this morning with my coffee in hand and as I peer out the window, the whole world looks positively perfect.
The sunlight casting its rays ever so gently across the burning bush outside my sliding door and just enough of its light is cascading along the autumn-colored tree outside my side windows as the waters of one of the greatest lakes in the world shimmers while it gracefully flows to the north with such peaceful and glorious movement. It all seems to be saying to me, why are you stressed, can’t you see everything is absolutely perfect?
As I slowly turn and walk back for another much-needed cup of coffee, I catch a glance at the picture frames that hang on my walls. To my left I see six amazing children and each one of them gives my heart a reason to smile every single day. To my right I see the most amazing man holding me in his arms and the smiles on our faces that seem as if they radiate from deep within us. There is a natural glow that shouts this is not a fake emotion amongst each of these photos, but a truth that says this is a connection of two souls that were always meant to find one another.
Its as if the moment we connected, our souls became one. What was once dark and broken became filled with light as it began to feel itself healing and becoming whole for the very first time.
I have never had someone who made me feel so perfect and love me despite all of my flaws. Someone, who tells me every day that there is not a thing about me that he would change. Someone who stands beside me and picks me up each time I feel myself falling. Someone who stands behind me as I look in the mirror and frown at what I see and says, would you look at that incredibly sexy woman, I am such a lucky man. When I am feeling like everything is a mess, he takes my hand, looks me in the eyes as says baby the only thing in this world I need is right here, I don’t care how much money we have, I don’t care what we don’t have or can’t do, there is nothing missing in my life as long as my life is being spent with you.
There is a feeling within me that I am not sure I have ever known. I feel a sense of freedom to be able to finally just be me. The fight or flight is fizzling out within me and the man I loved in my life before, I know has found his peace at heaven's door.
For myself, my life is starting new. I found my souls mate in a world I thought had ended for me. I realize now and every time I feel blue, nothing is ever that bad as long as I have these six children, and baby as long as I have you.
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