Lost Without You

A home once filled by you with music, laughter and love is now empty, lost, and filled with anguish and heartbreak. You were far from perfect and we were angered at you plenty, but you were the glue and the continued influence that kept are family whole. The passion that you held for keeping family in touch and always sending love and making sure everyone was taken care of goes unmeasured my love.

I look around our home and I see an empty chair, an empty bed and silence where you once beamed with constant random outbursts of words or songs or even sometimes orders barked with love. I see an empty desk where you sat to keep our lives in order financially and progressively to further our success in life.

I feel the emptiness not only in these four walls but in my heart and within my soul. I miss the warm smiles that greeted me home and the gentle hugs and kisses shared between us everyday and throughout the day. I miss the desire to do something as a family and the question of “what’s the plans for the day?” “What’s for din?”

I miss waking up to your beckons of “krip, time to get up” your “Good morning sweetheart” with a smile that always melted my heart and a hug and kiss that always melted me completely. I miss the account of where we are and where we are headed. I miss tucking you in at night and you beckoning me to do so. I MISS YOU!

I miss the music playing throughout our home and your voice singing to every song, the beer brewing and the way you lit up while you achieved a successful batch of the best beer ever made, at least we thought so.

I miss your arms around me and your confidence within me and the way you always had the answers to everything , even if I thought you were wrong, you believed eventually I would see you were right, and I hated admitting that you were right when I seen you were.

I miss your humor and your lightheartedness to every situation. I miss comforting you when you were frustrated or feeling let down by life. I miss us as a team working together to achieve everything we worked for, even if it was just cleaning the house and making a meal.

I miss your excitement when the boys would come home and when it was time to give you attention, (foot rubs, back rubs, and me). I MISS YOU!

Our home is filled with silence now and our hearts our filled with pain. Our lives will never be the same without you and every moment that you filled with light and joy will be empty and void.

I know I cannot get you back and I am sorry I did not make you stay. I am not sure why you were chosen to leave our world that day, I am still seeking those answers and I am angry that you left me so soon and that our final moments were left undone. As the song says, “I hunger for your touch” God, I miss you so much.

You were a beaming bright light in this world, and you filled so many lives with your glow. You have left a great impression on so many and now a hole in so many hearts with your absence. I pray you are at rest and at peace and that the lord carried you home in comfort in his glorious arms.

I want you to know, I will be strong, and I will never let you down. I will always love you; my heart will always belong to you and I will always be proud of the lives we built together, the boys we raised and the home we shared.

You are forever my favorite boy in the whole world, and I cannot wait for the day I see you again at the heavenly gates of eternity. I am eternally yours my love and babe you are always in my heart.

Rest well my love, until we meet again in paradise.