Until you have been left alone, with everything you built in the last 32 years as husband and wife sitting in your lap to assume responsibility for, without getting the slightest opportunity to accept that challenge, you can never understand the world I am living in today. I am learning to find the strength in me.
I have always believed in myself and I have always seen myself as a strong woman who could manage on my own, if life ever pushed me in that direction, however I found a great deal of my strength through my husband. I will forever be bound to this man who is now resting in eternal peace.
My faith tells me that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I believe this and I am determined to be the best woman I can be and to prove to myself, my God and my dearly departed husband that I can take hold of the reins in my life and stand tall as a confident, powerful, vivacious woman, a loving mother and a compassionate nurse.
So, now my journey begins …alone. Its time to find my love for me. I am ready to make this part of my life about me, who I am and what I want. I may buy a winter condo in Florida; I may venture into politics as a nurse and make a strong stand for what I believe in. I am going to take to the open road and travel more, see all the places I have always dreamed of seeing, there are so many.
I spent most of my life pleasing everyone else, my children, my husband, my mother and my patients and now I have been given an opportunity to please me. If I have learned anything about this life, it is that life is short and the world can easily rip you apart if you let it, but I will not let it!! The difficulties this world puts you through will either make or break you but, they will not break me!
I am so excited to start my life for me and see where my choices take me and I am certain that if my husband were here, he would tell me again, how proud he is of me. He may not approve of all my choices now, but I never approved of all his in our life together. I will never stop loving him and I will carry him with me in my heart always.
I am learning about me now and with my children behind me and my lord beside me I will carry on. I will enjoy the beams of the sun on my face and the music playing in my soul. I will make good with all the levels of emotion raging in my heart and my mind and I will delight in the beautiful life I once had and rejoice in the incredible life I am still destined to fulfill. I am ready to find my strength within me. La Force en Moi!!!
Comments